Projects at my house tend to take on a life all to
themselves. In fact I can recognize a very distinctive pattern in the life
cycle of a typical project.
There is the jumping out at us and catching us by surprise
phase. Then there is the endless hours of looking at it, researching online and
bothering all my buddies for how-to advice phase which I call the finding out
what I need to know phase. There is the choosing the best plan and getting
started phase. I usually don’t decide on the actually course to take with a
project until I get started and start purchasing things. This usually sends me
reeling back to the research and planning phase. Once under way there is the
inevitable; encountering unidentified problems and how to overcome them phase
which is often marked by bitter sobbing, planning all over again, calling my
buddies another time and four more trips to the hardware store. The most
important part of a project’s life cycle is clearly the finishing. This is
where I excel. When I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I become very
intensely frustrated and very aggressive to push on to complete the project.
The amount of time and money that goes into a project as it morphs through each
phase is always way under estimated. The standard rule I’ve heard and
experienced ten times the amount of time you thought it was going to take and
four times the original budgeted.
So it was in the case of this year’s spring projects.
Last year’s property line dispute left us with many future
projects for years to come without any warning. There was now a gap under the
new fence line would allow any toddler out of the back yard. This was a safety
issue that had to be addressed. A rock retaining wall to fill in the gap was an
absolute must so the kids could be allowed in the back yard unattended.
Fortunately for me, heavy rains and colder than usual winter left many rock
falls in and around our town. I collected many trailer loads of choice stackable
rock without venturing farther than the city limits.
The March offensive was marked by rock collecting and at the
same time attempting to revitalize a paralyzed back yard and badly neglected
front lawn. I spent many weekends with rented power tools and fertilizers in my
attempt to take back the lawns by force. So far I have had little success in
this siege warfare. The attack has now become a battle of attrition. (I lost)
Along with filling the gap under the fence I had to come up
with two gates, one across the driveway and one across the stairwell going up
to the porch, along with a fence between them. I spent a lot of time this
winter trying to figure out how I was going to do the gates and what they
should look like. Everything from wooden pallets leaned up against 2X4s to
wrought iron gate works were looked at. I had in my mind that I wanted
something nice enough not to be an eyesore, effective enough to keep the
toddlers up to about six from going AWOL from the backyard battlefield and yet
cost next to nothing, because a homeowner under siege warfare has nothing.
Along with the gate, the trailer I was using to haul large
rocks in March was falling apart. It never had a gate on the back and itself
was a safety issue. I had already lost boxes, empty garbage cans and a very
nice heavy canvas tarp that I sorely miss. That said I have almost lost
firewood and rock out the back that would have been devastating to following
traffic. It was crucial to get something down with renovating the sides and
adding some sort of tailgate. In addition I wanted a large job box to carry
tools and gas cans and such. This safety project was long overdue and a lot of
research had already been put into it.
The big problem I found was that thinking about how I wanted
to accomplish these projects over the winter and past couple of years never
culminated into real viable actions and price checking. When I transitioned
from thinking about it to putting shopping lists together I was shell shocked
by price tags and reality of what was possible, probable and actually doable
sent me back to the planning phase and calling my buddies. I had to start all
over. I did what every middle age man does in his hour of need during a home
improvement project with no possible solutions in sight. I prayed to God
almighty crying out for wisdom and then I went and called my daddy.
My father clearly has a love language for his kids and his
grandkids. That language is machinery. He would stop the world and rush to the
rescue to fix a flat tire on a bridge in downtown Portland or fix and teenage
hoopty car that barely runs and a myriad of other things. I just knew that he’d
come to the rescue and sure enough he was looking for something to do out in
his shop after the long winter anyhow.
I told him my dilemma and threw the “safety issue for your
grandkids” trump card on the table and he jumped all over it. He called or
texted me every day asking for drawings and dimensions so he could go by
material to start the job. I don’t think he’s called me that many times in the
last 10 years added up.
It was thrilling to be working on a project with my dad
again after all these years if only over the phone and internet. I came up with
some ideas and hit every hardware store looking for what was available for the
gates and the trailer. I settled in on some aluminum pickets and some cast iron
finials to form the gate across the driveway. I also found a one piece gate for
the stairwell. I also revised my plan for the trailer to go all plywood with a
slide down rear gate to save money. I still wanted a big job box to put my
chainsaw and other tools and fluids in because I hated driving in the Jeep or
Excursion with all that filth and gasoline in the back.
My father was all over this project in a way I hadn’t seen
in many years. A few days after sharing dimensions and some pencil drawings of
what I was thinking I wanted, I received a text with a picture from dad and it
showed an old job box sitting on the ground. The text asked “what about this
one?” I finally call him later that day to talk about it but I found out that
he had already bought the KNAACK job box at a country auction about 55 miles
away from his house for me. I couldn’t believe it. I looked up KNAACK boxes
online to find the new model was about a $1200 box. He got it for $175 in near
perfect shape. He also stopped and bought all the steel he needed for the frame
on the main gate across the driveway.
We were now in the purchasing and starting to build phase.
The trailer project was now completely different than when I had started but
the gate was now looking like it was going to be better than I had hoped for.
This father son project being carried out 400 miles apart
was going to require my dad to come for a visit to deliver and install his
welded gate frames. I couldn’t wait. Anna and I are leery of are children
growing up disconnected from family relations and we both feel very sad about
this dilemma. So any visit with Ba’pa Tate is pure gold. Our first child is now
old enough that he should be able to remember this visit. I remember visiting
my biological grandpa on my mom’s side twice. My only memories of him are when
he was severely ill and passing away. I can remember visiting him in summer
behind their house in Longview and being put down on a blanket to take a nap
with him by the red barn. I remember a later visit when he was bed ridden and
had many tubes going into his mouth and nose. These two memories are all I have
of Grandpa McManomy. I soon found myself counting the days until dad would
arrive.
Problems had to be overcome. The posts that were permanently
concreted into the ground that were to be used were installed leaning in. The
hinges would have to account for the angle of leaning. Dad figured out in his
head how he thought it could be done. This would require welding the hinges on
the frames in place. Dad arrange to bring a gasoline powered welder up with
him. We were now in the overcoming unforeseen problems phase.
Dad’s visit was phenomenal. The kids loved Ba’Pa Tate as
they call him. He stayed longer than previous visits and they really got to
know him much better.
We pecked away on the gates each day working together until
they were mounted and the KNAAK job box was welded on the front of the trailer.
I also prepped and painted all the steel frames on both the trailer and the
gates during this time. There were more
unforeseen problems to overcome but we eventually got through each one. I was
amazed at how much time went into custom welding the hinges and getting those
gates just right. This was the ten times longer than originally anticipated.
The good thing was the cost was down to materials alone. It’s good to have a
dad who can weld. There is a reason why metal work is so expensive.
The last phase of the spring offensive was now coming into
focus. I could see the end was in sight and the projects were beginning to look
done. The problem was dad was leaving and the weather was changing. Thus, April
was spent doing 80% of the work on the gates and trailer and the entire month
of May was spent in frustration to bring them another 15% closer to completion.
We went into a rainy spell and I was getting very busy at
work so I couldn’t get to the aluminum pickets and finials for another two
weeks. When I did it took an entire day to custom mount each picket so it
looked straight and equally spaced across the gate. Then another week to wait
for warmer weather for the epoxy to glue the finials on. Cutting the plywood to
make the sides of the trailer was not painful, but waiting for the right
weather to laminate plywood sides, primer and paint them was painfully frustrating.
I was getting more aggravated and motivated to complete these tasks as the end
came closer and end finish line became clearer in view. 
June was spent working on the picket fence to fill the gap
between the gates. There is a reason why people don’t have picket fences
anymore. There is an amazing amount of surface area on a picket fence. Its
insane. God provided and a man from church I hardly knew stepped forward with
an airless paint sprayer to at least help with the final paint. It took forever
to get those picket fences mounted.
The Spring offensive is now over and thanks to help from dad
and friends this weekend warrior has won a series of minor campaigns. Now I
hope to retire a little while into a summer battle of the bulge fought from a
lawn chair. I know I have window trim to paint and some landscaping to do but
the safety problems have been worked out.
Thanks Dad, you’re the best.
